on hospitality, reconciliation, & random.

a couple of weeks ago, stacey from GBF graciously opened her home and cooked us an amazing french meal (from julia child’s mastering the art of french cooking, no less). beef bourguignon, garlic mashed potatoes, and butter blanched green beans (of course, there were french names to all these, and i’m an american butchering them). it looked like this:

stacey's amazing meal, taken by estella

and yes, it tasted as amazing as it looks. this, coupled with the beautiful townhouse she and her roommates shared, just really brought back the desire to show biblical hospitality in the (near?) future. to be able to invite people over, cook for them, and show love in this manner. of course, i am far, far from reaching this point, but it reminded me of WHY i want to work on these things.

similarly, i’m trying to figure out if this overcomes my former desire of obtaining a higher degree, one that allows me a comfortable lifestyle and wins people’s approval (specifically my parents). these doubts always bubble back up when i have dinner with my parents and their friends’ families. all my former passion and desires re-bubble up when i see the success and pride, and i covet it yet again. but when i take a step back, what does that all mean in the big picture? so what if they’re a doctor, 30, enjoying the single life, make lots and spend frivolously? is that what i truly want to place my hope in? i was dismayed when i found that i wasn’t quite over this, and was in fact “backsliding” on what i thought i’d learned previously. a reminder that i will never fully be “done” with anything, that my worldview constantly needs shaping. that i should always place my thoughts and hope on Christ, and remember that the Holy Spirit is and needs to continually work in me.

additionally, i (re-)discovered today that reconciliation is so sweet. soooo sweet. reconciliation for me previously was to just to save as much dignity and pride as possible and “ok, ok, say whatever you want. as long as we don’t have to deal with it anymore,” and ended with a sweep under the rug and a chip on my shoulder. but now thanks to grace given through the gospel, it’s learning how to bend my knee in humility, admit where i’m wrong (always a log in my eye), gently correct where necessary, and to come out of it having learned something and improving on the relationship. i am so thankful. (and yes, the peacemaker’s pledge works.)